Monday, June 2, 2014

May 26, 2014 - A week of Gethsemane

Oh boy oh boy this week was a refiners fire...
I don't have much time to write this week but there has been much learnt this week!
It has been a hard week, it was very weird logging on to facebook ... It was probably one of the hardest weeks on my mission just a lot of mixed emotions but all is well in Zion and I am grateful for this week because I feel I have grown a lot from it.
This letter to President describes my week perfectly:
"Self: This week I feel was a refiners fire, there was a lot of emotions I have been facing this week, but looking back on it all I am grateful for these experiences because it led me to have some profound spiritual experiences personally and with my companion. It was quite difficult for me to log on to my old facebook, it brought up a lot of memories and feelings from my past that led to a lot of anxious feelings, guilt, and thoughts that just were not centred on my mission-it really was driving me nuts.. I don't really know how to describe to you in a brief letter the effect that had on me but Sister Keeler is a great companion and was there to help me along. I know it is inspired that we are serving with one another at this time because she helped me through a really hard point in my mission this week. Being able to literally delete the past life on my facebook helped me take one further step away from who I was and truly step into my new self my mission has created me into, it is amazing to look back and see how much I have changed and I know I have much to continue to change- missions are the greatest.  This week I have felt an over whelming appreciation to have the blessing and privilege to be serving a mission with such amazing missionaries & members around and because of their examples I have been completely changed. I stand all amazed and my heart and so full to be here. I have come to see that as representatives of Jesus Christ we will experience our own "Gethsemane" in a way, we will feel pain and sorrow for those we love when they choose to fall short of following the Savior in their life, as I was praying this week pleading to Heavenly Father for strength and help I had the words of Jesus Christ come in to my mind- "Father let this bitter cup pass from me, not my will but thy will be done." I realized then and there that I signed up to be a missionary; to represent Him and that these feelings of pain and sorrow we experience is nothing compared to what the Savior feels for our mistakes. Although I don't understand why we must go through certain struggles I do know that it will be but a small moment and for our good."
This week we saw blessings but as well we have grown through the stress of finding new investigators, understanding how to work with the ward, being more unified with the members in the Cole Harbour ward. We talked to 274 people this week, talked to everyone, we found one new investigator who dropped us.  She was great but due to a family situation, she made a decision to not learn further.
We have been re-evaluating this week and I just feel so strongly that we need to changed our efforts. We are going to make a huge focus on strengthening the ward, sifting through LA's.  I feel very inspired that we will teach through the ward, and through LA's we are going to change our efforts.  We have seen success in many ways in our approaches prior to now, but we feel everything has led to this point now.  I am grateful for what we have come to recognize we are quite unified with the elders and district now and the attitude in the missionaries has changed immensely in this zone. Sis Keeler and I are the only companionship that stayed the same this transfer, there is much to look forward to and little time to waste. We have many appointments we set up with members this week to strengthen them, inspire, as well lessons with the auxiliaries to go through the ward list so we can find the lost sheep.  I have come to see in this area that success is not measured by baptisms is it measured by our commitment to find teach and baptise.
We had a sad moment this week where we stopped by Sister ... (LA who has been preparing for the temple). She had a set back due to depression, instantly when we walked in I knew what was wrong.  Sis Keeler soon realized as well. There has been a huge rush of emotions in my mind this week as we have been teaching people and talking to Gods children. I am so grateful to be a missionary, to be sharing with others that the atonement is real that repentance and salvation is real. I am just so blessed to be serving here, my mission has given me 10 fold what I have put in.
I am a completely different person from who I was a year, 2 years ago and of course 3 yrs ago. I continue to change and give my heart to Christ everyday because I know; as 3Nephi 15:9 says "Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live." We truly live and are free when we come unto Christ.
I am so grateful to be here. I am so grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ. I received a priesthood blessing this week, so did Sister Keeler it was amazing, such a profound spiritual experience. It was exactly what I needed to hear from my Heavenly Father. It said that "Heavenly Father ripped me out of the world so I can show to others that repentance and salvation is real and that this is my duty" there was many other amazing things, "to stand myself up and dust myself off" many many amazing things were said which were exactly what I needed to hear. I wish i could express to you in words the things I have learnt this week, but it will have to wait till when we see one another in person.
I don’t know if what I am expressing to you makes any sense, but I hope it does.  We did much great work but I appreciated going through these personal trials at this time on my mission with Sister Keeler.
We have many new sisters in the zone, we are STL's for 8 sisters and they are all amazing!! SO great they all are solid just willing to work hard, it is quite nice to see!
I love you all,
and don't worry I am doing great still loving the work!!

Sister Pizzey

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